Count it all joy...

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastnesses.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Justin and I have had a somewhat tumultuous married life.

We got married a month after my 19th birthday.  Not only did we get married, but I moved 500 miles away from my friends and family and church so that he could finish his undergraduate degree.  Justin rented the cheapest apartment he could find (which was all we could afford -- I couldn't find a job no matter how hard I looked), which happened to double as government housing.  The cops said about the neighborhood: "Well, there aren't a lot of murders..."  We couldn't afford to do anything, including laundry, so I washed all our laundry by hand in the bath tub because the apartment came with free water.  And during all this, we were having trouble finding a church that would be a good fit for us, and we were having in-law trouble, and we kept having to call the cops on the neighbors in the middle of the night, and did I mention that Justin was finishing up his undergraduate degree?  Oh, and I got tonsilitis and the swine flu and almost died (at least, that's what it felt like at the time).

Yeah.  Fun times.

And then we scraped together enough money to move out of the neighborhood without many murders, and into a neighborhood without that much crime at all.  People would steal stuff if you left it in the yard, but really, that seems very reasonable to expect when you're coming from the other neighborhood.  We lived there for about six months before Justin graduated from college and promptly lost all his jobs and couldn't find any others.  This was also an all-time low for him health-wise.  While he was unemployed, I got a part-time job doing administrative stuff online and a few months later, that same company hired Justin to do technical support.  Finally, we got to do laundry in a real washer and dryer, though it seems like one of the two was always either broken or about to break.  In the midst of all this, we had a major "kerfuffle" (aka, fight) with the aforementioned inlaws and no longer speak to them.  That was a rough decision to make, and continues to be tough, but the more I think about it, the more sure I am that Justin made the right call there.

After that, we decided that we didn't have anything left to do in Alabama so we moved back to my home town, mainly so that we could be involved more with a local church and serve people better.  We've always had a heart for hospitality and encouraging other Christians and that's really tough to do when you live an hour and a half away from your church.  But it wasn't as easy as just "moving."  Two weeks before our scheduled move, our then-soon-to-be landlord called and said that the apartment he had promised wouldn't be ready in time and would we like a different one.  We didn't really have any choice, so we said yes.  This apartment turned out to be even worse than the very first one (just to give you an example, all the windows were nailed shut, presumably so that everyone would die in a fire someday).  Then Justin had so much trouble driving the giant moving van that he asked our pastor to help him -- which turned out to be a good thing.  They followed me all the way up to WV and got a nice 9-hour long visit.  Our pastor died not six months later, and that was the last time we ever got to see him alive.

Eventually, we moved out of that terrible apartment and into my childhood home, which my parents had vacated about two weeks before we had moved to West Virginia in the first place.  It had been empty for about four months and was full of bugs and mold from being all shut up in the summertime.  But still, it was a huge improvement over where we had been for a lot of reasons.

I found out later that when we moved in, I was actually pregnant, so that's fun.  It wasn't long afterwards that I was struck by all-day-sickness and couldn't do much of anything.  We still have boxes that haven't been unpacked yet.  Actually, an entire floor is still in need of attention.

Then, pregnancy.  There's a problem with the umbilical cord that makes it a high-risk pregnancy, though the baby seems to be developing completely normally and actually excelling in some areas.  But still, it's a high-risk pregnancy, which means I have to go to the doctor a lot and get an ultrasound each week.  (She wants me to go twice a week, but I'm not doing that.  Pretty sure she just wants that to make sure she doesn't get sued.)  Also, we can't get private health insurance because it's a high-risk pregnancy, so that's fun.  We're about a month out from Arane's due date and still no insurance, though I did apply for government assistance earlier today.  Fun stuff.

Additionally, we've been trying to buy this house for months and months and keep running into roadblocks that are completely out of our or anybody else's control.  We also keep trying to sell one of our cars, which would effectively remove all obstacles to buying the house, but things keep happening there, too.

If you're still with me this far in, congratulations!  I'm not telling you all this as a woe-is-me story.  Here's the point: after you've lived in high-stress circumstances for a few years, stuff stops bothering you.  You realize that God is looking out for you, and if you pay attention, you can see specific instances where he has provided for you in ways you probably never expected.

For example, when Justin and I were both unemployed, that was probably our all-time low.  It's rough when you don't know where you'll get the money to pay for rent or food.  I know for a fact that we shouldn't have been able to pay for all the bills that we did... miraculous.  And I know that Justin wouldn't have his current job if I hadn't enlisted his help with mine during a particularly busy time for me.  He only had the time to help because he was unemployed, and now this is the best job he's ever had and I hope he keeps it for years and years!


So anyway, all that to say, I'm amazed that I'm not more worried about how we'll pay for Arane's medical bills.  Part of me feels like I should be more worried, but the rest of me knows that I'm only not worried because of God's grace.  I think that if I had been in this situation at the beginning of our marriage, I wouldn't be handling it this well.  God has taught me a lot of things throughout the years, including how not to freak out about stuff that I can't do anything about.  God is good!